Florida's Only Source for Everything British

UNION JACK NEWSPAPER FLORIDA COLUMNS by Patricia Kawaja Published in 2006

DECEMBER 2006 COLUMN by Patricia Kawaja

FT. LAUDERDALE CINDERELLA ENGLISH PANTOMIME South Florida Brits enjoy their annual English pantomime and this year Davy Jones, the Manchester-born star of the Monkees will be headlining. Apart from winning an Emmy for the Monkees TV show in the 60s, Davy's long career as actor and musician/composer includes playing Ena Sharples' grandson on Coronation Street, the Artful Dodger in the West End production of Oliver and on Broadway, where he was nominated for a Tony Award. The Monkees group was created after that, with album sales surpassing all records. Perhaps the most celebrated television appearance in Davy's long career was as a heartthrob in The Brady Bunch episode, "Getting Davy Jones." Florida Brits are lucky Davy is bringing his talent to our pantomime. The well-loved story of Cinderella, produced by the terrific British-owned Goldcoast Theatre, starts its run on December 26 because Florida Brits celebrate Boxing Day. The panto features an all-star ensemble cast and production team, including story by British comedian Mike Winters, star of The Mike and Bernie Winters' Show, costumes by famous British fashion designer Barbara Hulanicki of BIBA fame, veteran British actress Anita Booth, who worked with the Royal Shakespeare Company and many others. For 2006/2007 You can see the panto at various venues in Ft. Lauderdale, Miami Beach and West Palm Beach and several dates, from December 26 through early January. Info and tickets on www.britishpanto.org or call Goldcoast Theatre [305] 538-5500 or email the producer This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it , in photo as the fairy godmother. [Panto footnote in UK: Emails promoting Norfolk primary schools panto Dick Whittington, were all blocked because the title couldn't make it past schools bad-language internet filters.] MIAMI ART BASEL from Switzerland, comes to Miami Beach for a week each December. The arrival of the fine arts show, recognised as the world's most prestigious, is one of the major events in Florida. For a week the entire city of Miami is dominated by Art Basel events, parties, expositions and thousands of international art collectors and experts from around the world. There are always many exhibitors from the UK, as I know from attending Art Basel Miami every year. This year The UK Government's Arts Council England and UK Trade and Investment, is helping eight British galleries work and exhibit at this year’s show. airs in early December. Sarah Weir, Executive Director, Arts Council England, London, says: "By encouraging and assisting some of London’s galleries to work on an international level, we believe this initiative will help showcase the extraordinary breadth of talent in the capital, and truly put our creativity on the world map." If you've never been been, I urge you to attend Art Basel, to check out these British galleries and the stunning European work on display. This colossal city-wide show runs Thursday December 7 to 10, 2006. See website www.artbasel.com ENGLISH LANGUAGE USE here which irks my ears: The widespread use of hyperbole----a particularly American practice. It's annoyed me for years, but what prompted me to write this was the Thanksgiving TV commercial by Honeybaked Ham. "Honeybaked am---the world's best ham" it stated. They even trademarked their unsubstantiated bragline, er tagline: ".....the World's best ham" is now an official part of their logo. This commmercially produced ham may be the best in America, [although I have tasted better local artisan American hams], but the world's best it patently isn't. Nor can it be, unless independent ham-tasters have gone around the world and tabulated their results. That honour, for centuries has gone to Italy's Parma ham or England's superb hams, both acclaimed by independent WORLDWIDE gourmets. What really aggravates me is this American habit of attempting world domination in everything, without conceding there are other countries out there, who have been doing most things better for centuries longer. Except bragging----no other nation beats them at that.
TAMPA BRITS. The Local PBS station WEDU invites you to their British night on Friday January 12, 2007. WEDU promises a Jolly Good Time at the BritWit Party---A Backstage Event, tipping its hat to British comedy with the second annual Brit Wit Pub Party – one of the PBS station’s most popular backstage events. [7 p.m. at the WEDU Hough Family Foundation Studio in Tampa]. Amidst a pub-like atmosphere, this British bash is designed for fans of BBC programming and features the hilarious British comedy hits seen Saturday nights on WEDU. The Brit Wit Pub Party will be hosted by Julius Cain of the BBC and Mike Seymour of the Programming Service for PBS. This fundraising party will include authentic British food and drink supplied by The Moon Under Water British Pub, “clips and dish” of British comedies and its stars, with trivia contests and prizes. The most popular and witty British comedies are seen Saturday nights on WEDU, including Fawlty Towers, Are You Being Served? and Keeping Up Appearances. WEDU is West Central Florida’s primary PBS station, serving 16 counties including the Tampa, St. Petersburg, and Sarasota areas and is the most watched PBS station in Florida. TICKETS to Brit Wit Pub Party for “blokes and birds” are $25 per person. Order online [by Jan. 9 latest] at www.wedu.org or call Tollfree 1-800.354.9338, ext. 2241.
THE 24th. ANNUAL SOUTH FLORIDA SCOTTISH FESTIVAL AND GAMES Saturday January 13, 2006 from 9a.m. to 6p.m. Of real Scots there's lots in Florida and even more wannabe American "Scots" in kilts. This is a famous and fabulous day of Scottish tradition-- including live music, hearty food and drink (including a Dewar’s 12 Whisky Tasting Tent), as well as competitive highland dancing, pipe bands and athletics. val and Games at the Fort Lauderdale Stadium & Event site near the Lockhart Stadium. [See display ad this issue] INFO and TICKETS: Call (954) 460-5000 website www.SASSF.org

MIAMI PIRATES MUTINY brought over from Europe, where it has shown to sold-out houses. Many of the cast and staff are British. A hugely entertaining LIVE, interactive and involving show---a type of Cirque du Soleil action with pirate theme. Set sail on the adventure of a lifetime, seen by over 2 million people in Europe. Join English pirate Sir Henry Morgan's crew for a night of pure fun and amazing spectacle, featuring world-class acrobats, gymnasts and dancers from around the world. Appeals to all ages from 5 to 95. Runs from December 1 for several weeks. LOCATION Downtown Miiami on Bicentennial Park. Complete info: www.piratesmutiny.com Tickets: www. Ticketmaster.com

ORLANDO. The National Orchestra of Wales visits Florida. This is not a few taffies with a trumpet, readers. The world-renowned National Orchestra of Wales, under the artistic direction of Thierry Fischer with Joan Kwuon on violin, will perform Benjamin Britten, Four Sea Interludes from Peter Grimes, Max Bruch, Violin Concerto No. 1 in G minor, Op. 26, and Dmitri Shostakovich, Symphony No. 10 in minor, Op. 93. This acclaimed British Orchestra enjoys its special dual role as a national and a broadcasting orchestra, recognized not only for the quality of its performances but also for its contribution to local Welsh communities. It brings world-class symphony performances to Orlando on Sunday, January 21, 2007 at 3p.m. at the Bob Carr Center. Info and tickets contact the box-office at 1-800-738-8188 or www.festivaloforchestras.org

MELBOURNE.AIDA, acclaimed musical by British composers Elton John and Tim Rice. January 3/4, 2007at the King Center. Tickets [321] 242-2219 www.kingcenter.com

MIAMI MARATHON January 28, 2007 sponsored by ING. Would any Brits running in this please contact me, by email. So many Brits ran in it last year, I'd like to organise some sort of Brit cheering section.

SARASOTA British Club annual Christmas party on Friday December 15 at 7p.m. Sarasota Brits will welcome Father Christmas at their 7th Annual Christmas Party at Stoneybrook Country Club. Games, door prizes, dancing, great food and libations, all welcome. Tickets $45 each. Info/Tickets: Call [941 ] 321-9631.

NOVEMBER 2006 COLUMN by Patricia Kawaja

There are two questions people pose me more than any other. 1] How many Brits in Florida? See answer to that on www.BritishFlorida.com on the Statistics Page, which I had to create just to address that. 2] Who does the lizard's Cockney voice in the Geico commercials? One American friend was adamant it was Canadian actor Mike Myers faking it, in spite of my insistance that it wasn't. Please, as a Londoner I know purity when I hear it: the utterly athentic delivery and Cockey inflection when the gekko says, with a sigh: "I'm here for for Geico love. Let's not get into my personal life." Trouble was I couldn't tell the American who it was. Now I know: The voice belongs to 35 year old English actor Jake Wood. He is curently starring in The Illusionist movie and you've seen him in British TV shows like Eastenders, Red Dwarf and Doc Martin.

[FOOTNOTE: Proving that Americans unabated love of the British accent renders it a favourite Madison Avenue marketing tool, I kept a clipboard next to my TV for the last 2 months, in preparation for this column. Each time I heard a British accent in a TV commercial, I jotted it down. The list: Coors Beer, DHL, Colgate toothbrushes, Airwick, Landrover USA, Cingular Wireless, Softscrub Cleanser, Seiko Watches, Isotoner Gloves, Geico of course, Orbitz Travel, Travelocity, Glade lug-ins, Neutrogena, Samsung electronics, Ross Dress for Less, Van Kempen Investments, Bam Cleaner and Tassimo Coffeemakers]. MIAMI BEACH BRITISH ACTRESS ELLEN JAMESON, a former BBC broadcaster with her English husband, Derek, runs 4DSB, a successful theatre group in Miami. Their production 'Sobe Wonderland - A Miami Fantasy' is a high energy, all singing, all dancing original comedy musical set in the Magic City and based on a universal fairy tale and is a love story - with a twist. 'Sobe Wonderland' features an international, multi cultural cast and for all Brits there is an extra bonus :. A special guest appearance by Queen of England look-a-like, Judith Gindy. Runs November 10--25 at two locations in Miami Beach. Tickets /info from website www.4dsb.org or call 305 532 3740. BEEGEES----BARRY GIBB update. As my regular readers know, the Beegees have lived in Miami Beach for over twenty years. The remaining two musical brothers Barry and Robin have gone their own ways professionally since Maurice's death. Barry Gibb now has a wonderful new website, complete with family and professional photos going back years, a virtual tour of the group's famous Middle Ear recording studio and everything you could want to know about their glorious music past and present. It's one of the best websites I've seen. www.barrygibb.com WINTER GARDEN AREA The TBPA [Transatlantic Brides and Parents Association] meets the first Tuesday of the month. For details call Sylvia Mackey [352] 365-1543. Email: This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it Sylvia is also organising a lawn bowling tour from Florida to Scotland in July 2007. Any Brits interested in that should call Sylvia for intinerary and cost. LEST WE FORGET. Please attend the Royal British Legion's Annual Remembrance Service. We are all living this glorious free life in fabulous Florida and believe we should focus for a few hours each year on the brave souls who fought [and still fight in Iraq] for our freedom. "A service of Remembrance for those men and women of all nationalities who have fallen in the service of their country," as the Legion describes it. Wear your Poppy with Pride. The stirring red symbols will be available at the door. The service is augmented by a colour guard, Scottish piper and other participants. Please spread the word to other Brits, bring your family and let's do the Annual Poppy Day Appeal proud. DATE: Sunday November 12, 2006 at 3p.m. at Shepherd of the Coast Lutheran Church, 1901 East Commercial Blvd, Fort Lauderdale (just west of US1). Further information call the Legion's Val Belben 954-946-0505 This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it BRITISH PANTO CINDERELLA. MIKE WINTERS WILL BE STARRING in the fifth annual Traditional English Pantomime. Its South Florida run in various locations, starts on December 26 because Florida Brits still like to celebrate Boxing Day. The well-loved story of Cinderella is always a crowd-pleaser. Why do you think the movie "Pretty Woman" was such a blockbuster? Produced by the terrific British-owned Goldcoast Theatre, owner Jude Parry welcomes walk-on B[r]itparts, stage-hands and helpers of all types, sponsors too please----take an ad out in Panto programme. For info/tickets see website www.britishpanto.org or call Goldcoast Theatre (305) 538-5500 or email This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

AS MANY OF US RESIDENT FLORIDA BRITS HAVE NEXT OF KIN far away it's important we register our emergency contact information. Officials in Florida need to know who to contact if you are seriously hurt or kick your British bucket in an accident. Now the Florida State Department Highway Safety and Motor Vehicles has created a way to do that on its website. Go to www.hsmv.state.fl.us and click on the Emergency Contact Information icon. Enter your Florida's driver's licence number and you'll be prompted to enter two emergency contacts. VERO BEACH The Daughters of the British Empire [DBE] chapter. There are other chapters which meet around Florida. Contact Lorely Ridge, who heads up the Vero Beach one, for all info on all DBE activities in Florida. [772] 770-9684 This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it '; document.write( '' ); document.write( addy_text26719 ); document.write( '<\/a>' ); //-->\n This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it POMPANO BEACH British folk singer DONOVAN, popular in the 70's appears at the Pompano Beach Amphitheatre. Sunday November 26, 2006 at 7.30p.m. Info and tickets from promoter's website www.fantasma.com and Ticketmaster. For those of you trying to create authentic British recipes in your Florida kitchen, there exists a wonderful website. www.greatbritishkitchen.co.uk It is run by the British Food Trust, which says: This web site is a major resource for expats around world who are enthusiasts for British cooking, its past traditions and future potential. Most of the thousands of British recipes here are indeed traditional and, taken together, define the legacy of British Cuisine as it has evolved over the years. BRITISH----AMERICAN CULTURE CORNER: Any of you over 40 will remember the days when Brits never carried creditcards. We used to mock American tourists with their walletful of plastic charge cards. Few of us lived beyond our means. Buying anything on the "HP" , on "tick" or on credit was looked down on as [ironically] for the poor classes. We were not a materialistic society, like the Americans, we declared snootily. Now, as many official UK studies attest, Brits have become just as addicted to creditcards and buy-it-now-afford-it-later as Americans--worse maybe. Last month Britain's Consumer Credit Counselling Service reported that one of its 56 year old English clients owns 57 creditcards, on which he owes over $650,000. The charity [surprisingly to me] warned that in the UK people in their 50s have the worst debt problems. BRITISH STARS IN FLORIDA.....Michael Sheen who plays Tony Blair in he Queen, the glorious new film starring Helen Mirren stayed at Miami Beach's luxury Le Meridien Hotel in mid-October. Sheen, who has a daughter with English actress Kate Beckinsale, told local reporters he loved Miami and coudn't wait to return. ENGLISH LANGUAGE USE/ABUSE HERE WHICH IRKS ME: This is in my top five of annoying expressions. Saying "You Guys" constantly instead of just "You". It is so prevalent that a foreigner learning English in America might think "youguys" was the actual pronoun. Sir Paul Macartney, no less, gets my goat because he uses it whenever he's in the USA, seemingly to chum up to Americans. Always be yourself, Paul. Scousers don't say "youguys". When he spoke to the NASA astronauts in space, as they woke up to his song Good Day Sunshine, he addressed them as "You Guys, " several times. SCAM ALERT BRITS in UK trying to fleece us over here? Very naughty. The Miami Herald Action Line reports emails coming from England sent to one [or more] of its readers trying on the old cashier's cheque scam. You can check out all internet scams and report crooks, British or not, on 2 websites run by the US Government: The FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center www.ic3.gov and the Federal Trade Commission's www.consumer.gov/sentinel/.

 

OCTOBER 2006 COLUMN by Patricia Kawaja

The United States Citizen and Immigration Service [USCIS] recently announced its 2005 figures for official immigration to the USA. So herewith some key statistics I've selected, relevant to Brits:

1] Florida came second to California as the most popular state for Brits to settle in, but showed a 100% rise in immigrants since 2004.

That year, 1416 Brits settled officially on US visas. In 2005 it was up to 2396.

In California many Mancunians were rejected as undesirable and refused visas.

2] The most popular areas in Florida Brits chose to settle in were Miami-Ft. Lauderdale, second Orlando and third Tampa.

3] In 2005 the USA granted visas to 1,122, 373 new immigrants from 192 countries. These settled in all 50 states.

19,800 were Brits. South Dakota was the least popular state but still gained 7 new Brits I was fascinated to see. [The Brokeback Brits, tee hee?]

4] Most UK Brits came here on family visas [marriage to Americans etc] rather than E2/B1/B2 work/business visas.

5] Of European immigrants into Florida, Ukrainian immigrants beat the Brits into second place.

Amazing---I don't hear many Russian accents yet in Florida, do you?
NEWS OF THE BOOZE MIAMI BEACH [South Beach]. I'm thrilled to announce a much-needed British Pub has opened---and a short drive from my house too! I've met twice with the enthusiastic English manager Tracey Williams, to suggest suppliers and taste-test the English fish and chips, the pub has joined FABB and will be hosting a British Network Evening there on Wednesday October 25. But first let me set the scene. The Free Spirits Pub [305] 532-5399, is a short walk from the ocean and did not start life as a British pub. That was Tracey's idea and she has done an excellent job of transforming it into a real British pub. [The owner is American and she had to convince him it would work]. The huge Union Jack flags flying outside attract British tourists along South Beach and curious locals. Tracey made sure there are English beers, authentic fish and chips, full English breakfast all day, bangers and mash, using the best Irish bacon and yummiest British-style bangers from Murvest. Particularly pleasing is the spacious English-style square bar inside where customers can all see each other, the mix of booths and tables for dining at the front of the pub, with pool table and darts board situated wisely the back. Tracey's ideas are spot on and she's dedicated to making this place a successful British pub, even showing me the red phone box menus created on her computer. "The British tourists from the Days Inn Hotel next door tell us it's a pretty good English pub so that's not a bad recommendation," she told me. It just needs some local Brits to discover it, so FABB is hosting its British Network night there on Wednesday October 25, from 6.30 pm to 10p.m. Join Miami's British community there for a great night---no charge, buy own drinks and food as you go. I'll be there, of course. Details on www.BritishFlorida.com
BRITISH----AMERICAN CULTURE CORNER: A Pembroke Pines Florida woman was talking excitedly about landing one of 10 places on a national TV show called Monique's F.A.T. Chance. Overweight women compete willingly for the title Miss F.A.T. which stands for Fabulous and Thick. But in England, thick means dim, so that tickled me. Producers there would get no contestants without a title change, methinks.
UPDATE----FLORIDA BRITS---SAMPLE THE FAMOUS QUEEN MARY 2, the world's most glamorous ocean liner. Cunard's QM2 is doing a one-time only 4 day "taster" cruise from Ft. Lauderdale, roundtrip---so no expensive airfares. Over 50 Florida Brits have booked since I announced this in my June column, so it should be an onboard blast. Cruise is January 6, 2007 and final bookings are due in this month, so contact me ASAP if you want to go.
MIAMI-THE FOURTH BRILLIANT BRITS DINNER with guest of honour Her Majesty's British Consul Keith Allan and Mrs. Allan. Hosted by FABB [Florida Association of British Business]. These are popular casual dinners to connect with the local British professional community in a social setting, a fun, productive and informal function. Mix with resident local Brits in all fields. The British community in Florida is vast, thriving, and accomplished…..Brilliant, in fact. At each dinner, we always have new attendees, all ages and professions, singles, couples and zero riff-raff [tee hee]. Remember FABB's slogan:......A Roomful of Brits is Never dull DATE: Sunday October 15, 2006. Mingle with fellow guests at the bar from 6-7.30p.m. Go in for dinner at 7.30p.m. LOCATION: The Firkin and Friar English--theme Pub [305] 443-2774 at 3148 Commodore Plaza in Coconut Grove, Miami]. Our British group will have its own plush room with great ambiance. DINNER: Set dinner of the pub's gourmet fish and chips---two large pieces of genuine beer-battered fish with excellent chips. They were voted a huge success by Brits at the previous dinner. DRINKS: One free drink included in your ticket. DESSERT: A little British surprise! COST: Dinner, drink, dessert, tax and tip paid to restaurant---all included: $27 per person. ATTENDANCE REQUIREMENT: You must have a British/Irish accent or be the spouse/guest of somebody who has! Advance booking necessary: Phone FABB office [305] 371-9340 with VISA or Mastercard. Don't phone the pub!

LAKE MARY BRITISH-AMERICAN CLUB, for Brits in the Lake Mary/Longwood/Sanford Area, has just formed. Call Debbie Arrigall-Watkins [407] 416-7779 for info.
FT. LAUDERDALE BRITISH WOMEN'S CLUB. Call [954] 563-4061 Norma for next meeting details. New members with a British accent welcome.
ENGLISH LANGUAGE USE/ABUSE HERE WHICH IRKS ME: The Miami Herald recently quoted Elton John talking about his so-called feud with George Michael.

"George and I are fine. He came and stayed down [at] my house last year." The Herald inserted [at] in brackets. Wrong. Londoners like Elton say "He stayed down my house, " omitting the "at" and often "house" too. It's a Cockney colloquialism. In Eastenders you'll hear, " He stayed down mine last night." Now I don't expect the Herald's editors to know how Londoners speak. But when you publish somebody's remarks in quotation marks, you don't insert prepositions they didn't use. That's paraphrasing not quoting. It also insults readers---did they think we wouldn't understand what Elton meant without inserting [at]? [USA media talks down to its audience I notice, over-simplifying and over-explaining in a way British broadcasters don't. But that's another subject beyond this column].
ENGLISH MASTER WATERCOLOURIST CASSIE WINTERS, accomplished wife of comedian Mile Winters will be holding an exhibition of her artwork from October 19 to October 26th. They both live in Miami Beach and the glorious Miami Beach Botanical Gardens is the ideal setting to showcase Cassie's lovely paintings. Her work is in homes across the world and Brits are encouraged to attend the exhibition. Grand Opening is on Thursday October 19, with musical accompaniment on Sunday the 22nd. INFO: Call Laura Jamieson at the Botanical Center [305] 673-7256 extension 206. www.mbgarden.org ST.THOMAS CHURCH MIAMI is hosting the glorious voices of St. Albans Cathedral Choir, who have flown in from England to perform. What is more uplifting than an English choir? Directed by Andrew Lucas, this is the traditional men and boys choir from Hertfordshire. The concert will be on Thursday October 26 at 7.30p.m. at St. Thomas Church, 5690 North Kendall Drive. Tickets $25-15. Call the Church to book and directions: [305] 661-3436 BRITISH LEGENDARY GROUP THE WHO appears November 20, 2006 at Ft. Lauderdale's BamkATlantic Center. Tickets: www.ticketmaster.com

BAND INFO: www.thewhotour.com

SEPTEMBER 2006 COLUMN by Patricia Kawaja

In TV interviews and articles, I have often dubbed present-day Florida, "America's British colony" due to the large British community here. But I recently discovered that once Florida actually became a British Colony and thought the facts might pique your interest: In 1763, France, Britain, and Spain signed the Treaty of Paris at the end of the French and Indian War. As part of the treaty, France relinquished almost all land in North America and Spain gave up Florida. During the same war, Britain had captured Havana, Spain's busiest port. In exchange for Havana, the Spanish traded Florida to Britain. The British then divided Florida into two territories: East Florida and West Florida. This time was known in Florida as The British Period. The capital of East Florida was St. Augustine, still very British-themed today, and the area had great soil for farming. To attract settlers there, the British offered land grants to those who would farm and defend the new British territory. The first British governor of East Florida was James Grant. Grant did more to increase the population of East Florida than anyone else, remained friends with the Seminole Indians and traded goods with them. Grant also encouraged British settlers from North and South Carolina, and Georgia, to come to Florida and start plantations. Many British-owned plantations were successful with various crops such as citrus fruit, sugar cane, rice, cotton and Indigo plants for making dark blue dye. West Florida consisted of the land between the Mississippi and Apalachicola rivers, including parts of modern day Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana. Pensacola was the capital of West Florida.

But the British did not rule Florida for long. The colonies north of Florida were tired of Britain's rule and decided to fight for their independence, in what became The American Revolution. Colonists who fought for independence were called Patriots, those who sided with Britain were Loyalists. Unlike the northern colonies, Florida had no problems with Britain. In fact, many of the English settlers in East Florida invited Loyalists from South Carolina and Georgia to move to Florida. The majority of these Loyalists settled in St. Augustine. But further south Ft. Lauderdale was named after a British officer. Most of the war took place far north of Florida, but Florida suffered occasional raids. In 1779, Spain took advantage of Britain's preoccupation with the other colonies and invaded West Florida. By 1781, Britain had lost West Florida to Spain and by the end of the American Revolution, Spain regained the rest of Florida. Britain also lost control of the thirteen colonies, and therefore, had little interest in keeping Florida, especially since it was still isolated from the original colonies and did not produce big profits for Britain. On September 3, 1783 at the Treaty of Paris Britain recognized the independence of the United States. Following that Spain briefly regained Florida but that was short-lived and in 1821 the newly-formed United States of America. So Florida Brits, the American land you're living on, was once reallllllllly yours!! Next July 4, let's all rise up and grab it back, tee hee.
ENGLISH LANGUAGE ABUSE here which irks my ears: Pronouncing the word parenting as parr-enting. I heard Barbra Walters on TV yesterday refer to parrenting instead of parenting. It comes from the noun parent, pronounced with a long A, so why do so many Americans speak it as though it's derived from the word parrot?
BRITISH-AMERICAN CULTURE CORNER: This Londoner is thrilled that American actress Gwynneth Paltrow, who lives there with Brit husband Chris Martin of Coldplay, is becoming one too. Complaining in 2004 about poor service and other uniquely British things there, now she tells the Daily Mail: "When you live somewhere, you really start to absorb all aspects of the culture. If you'd have told me five years ago that I would watch a re-run of the Two Ronnies, I'd have said you were insane. I also eat curry all the time." She's right. When I moved to Miami in 2002, I'd never even heard of Ceviche. Wossat? Now I'm so enamoured of the fish-cooked-in-lime-juice dish, it's the first thing I order from any Miami menu.
SARASOTA. BRITISH ENTREPRENEUR PAUL ROWNEY has established a much-need service for parents: FUNDANGO CHILDREN'S ENTERTAINMENT CENTRE, the first of its kind in the city. "As a parent myself, " Paul toId me, " I noticed there weren't many activity places for children ages 5-12. Open every day, The Fundungo 5,000 sq-ft. facility features giant inflatables, such as the 22 ft. slide and 55 ft. obstacle course plus interactive, video and arcade games and Soft Play area for toddlers, much of it interactive and fun for parents too. "It's not a drop-off or daycare place, the conecpt is different" he stressed. "Parents must stay with their little darlings but Fundango staff are also on hand and parents may meet up over coffee. It's somewhere parents spend quality time enjoying their children and watching them play---something different." Fundango has birthday party packages, comfortable seating for parents and numerous options for a memorable event including clowns, magicians, limo and more. The family brings the birthday cake and candles, but Fundango Fun Experts handle all party arrangements from start to finish. So take your Brit-Brats along for some family giggles and bonding. COMPLETE INFO [cost/location/hours/party package] : Fundango [941] 922-8790 www.fundangofuncenter.com MIAMI British playright Martin McDonagh's smash hit THE PILLOWMAN is running till September 17, 2006 at The Gablestage Theatre inside the Biltmore Hotel, Coral Gables. INFO and TICKETS: [305] 445-1119 www.gablestage.org
NEWS OF THE BOOZE FT. MYERS NEW BRITISH PUB. Derek Bennett, who used to own the English Pub in Naples has just opened The English Pub on Ft. Myers Beach [239] 765-9660. Pop in for a reconnaissance pint. FT. LAUDERDALE-SUNRISE The King's Head Pub [954] 572-5933 has a British owner again---hooray. Well-meaning Americans just don't know how to operate something as uniquely outside their culture as a British pub. Hazel Smith, who took over last month, told me she has taken the King's Head back it to its authentic Britishness, from food to ambiance to clientele.
MIAMI. BRITISH LEGEND ERIC CLAPTON appears October 23rd, 2006 at American Airlines Arena. RISING BRITISH STAR JAMIE CULLUM at Miami's brandnew Carnival Centre for the Performing Arts on October 9, 2006. Details and tickets for both shows from promoter's website www.fantasma.com or all TicketMaster outlets.
OCALA British-owned Penny Lane Café [352] 622-0006 has just opened. "We moved from Liverpool last year and noticed an increasing British community in the area," Scouse owner Keith Robertson told me, " So believed there would a large demand for authentic British food. Penny Lane Café also serves freshly made salads, sandwiches and such but it's the British specialties proving most popular. The café also stocks English goodies and teas for sale. "Customers rave about our traditional Shepherd’s Pie, Steak & Mushroom Pie and our Bangers & Mash," says Kevin. "We do often have to explain [to non-Brits] that a Banger is a large British sausage and the Spotted Dick on the dessert menu is provoking quite a reaction." I wonder how they make authentic English Spotted Dick, my favourite childhood School Dinners pud, without suet. It is illegal to import that from the UK, under daft USA law. Take your empty tummy in there and try it, UJ readers.
BRITISH CONSULATE NEWS [ From press release their Miami-based PR officer Annette Hugues emailed me ] : Florida Governor Jeb Bush led a mission of over 160 business people and academics to the UK from July 17-21, 2006. Her Majesty's Consul, Keith Allan, was invited to accompany the Governor. The main objective of the visit was to promote the development of links with the UK life sciences sector, as Florida seeks to become a world leader in the life sciences behind California and Massachusetts. This initiative followed the recent announcement that the renowned Scripps Research Institute would be opening a new facility in Florida. The Governor also attended Farnborough Air Show, met leading banks and promoted the tourism sector in Florida. A number of leading academics accompanied the Governor, including Professor Richard Lerner of the Scripps Institute. Meetings and seminars were held at Oxford University, Imperial College London, St Bartholomew's and the University of Edinburgh. The University signed a strategic alliance agreement with Imperial College London. The Governor was met by large and enthusiastic audiences and was highly impressed by the size and sophistication of the UK life sciences sector, particularly the new facilities developed by the University of Edinburgh. The Governor visited Farnborough Air Show on July 17, opened the Florida pavilion and met leading UK and US aviation companies. London-based British American Business Inc. hosted a breakfast meeting for the Governor, at which he entertained the audience and took questions. The UK is the only country that Governor Bush has visited twice with a mission during his term. This mission has created an excellent opportunity for UK companies and academic institutions to benefit from the development of Florida as a world leader in the life sciences. The state has already committed substantial funds to this, and leading US academic institutions, including Scripps, have given it their backing. UKTI and Scottish Development International will be looking at early follow-up, possibly be bringing UK companies and academics out to Florida. FURTHER INFO: British Consulate Miami [305] 374-1522 www.britainusa.com
PALM BEACH BRITISH CLUB meets each month in various locations in Wellington/Palm Beach/Palm Beach Gardnse areas. If you have a British accent and wish to attend, contact founder Patti Gaines for location and details: [561] 626-9017 or email This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

JULY 2006 COLUMN by Patricia Kawaja
ONBOARD FREEDOM OF THE SEAS, MIAMI MAY 31-June 2, 2006. When you launch the world's newest, largest, most innovative, action-packed ship ever, with superlatives flying from travel writers around the globe, and boundless options onboard, you could be forgiven for not including a British pub. But that Royal Caribbean, an American cruiseline, includes an authentic one on every ship, is to its credit. The Bull and Bear is an essential part of Royal Caribbean's signature shops and bars promenade, which are designed by a UK company. Starting with a 1981 romance with a British purser on Princess cruiselines, which lasted many years, I became a cruise connoisseur, sailing on most Princess ships. Later some were business-related as a PR/media guest, on the QE2 as a firstclass guest of Cunard while interviewing two of their captains, in 2004 the QM2, then MSC Opera line, Celebrity Cruises, Norwegian Cruiselines and Royal Caribbean. I maintain office files on all Florida-based cruiselines and track the industry. I rate Royal Caribbean highly, choosing the line in 2004 for my mother's 80th. birthday cruise. That's when I noticed the surprising proliferation of vacationing Brits onboard. Some arrive directly from the UK, but many are visiting relatives of us Florida Brits. Miami is, of course the cruise ship capital of the world and my home overlooks the beautiful liners at their terminal, so was fortunate to watch the colossal Freedom of the Seas sail in for the first time. When Royal Caribbean invited me onboard for a 2 day media preview cruise, before its first public cruise, I decided to accept and report to UJ readers, many of whom are avid cruisers. Royal Caribbean, more than many other lines, pays great attention to detail, designing cabins to maximise your comfort and convenience, from spacious bathrooms, easy to use and well-designed fixtures, to well-placed lighting controls [designed by a top British architectural lighting company, with oodles more storage space. They offer more suites than any other cruiseline, recognising a growing demand from families cruising together. To showcase theses suites, they put me in one----the palatial 1406 sq. ft. Royal Suite, with a luxury bathroom worthy of any top hotel and a 377 sq.ft. private balcony. The sheets were piped with satin, the fattest towels I've ever felt, fresh orchids on the dining room table, a pillow "menu" for choose from and cavernous closets with inside auto-lights. Frankly, when I unlocked the door to this suite I stood there stunned by the Iuxury. This ain't your father's cruiseship, baby. If the goal was to impress, I was. The Freedom boasts a 14 person family suite, ideal for a family reunion at sea or wedding party. If you have never cruised, the Freedom would be a superb ship to seduce you into the experience. For cruise veterans, do try it. Rather than dwell on the food, the spa, numerous bars, restaurants and the usual cruiseline offerings, or my interview on the bridge with Captain Bill Wright, will serve you better by reporting on this ship's innovations: A full-sized boxing ring with scheduled specatator matches, one on one boxing lessons and passenger boxing matches. The gym, spa/sauna, beauty salon and acupuncture centre are designed by UK companies and most staff in those areas are Brits, common in the cruise industry. There's an ice skating rink, the largest rock climbing wall on any ship afloat and the famous onboard surf park, which rushes 34,000 gallons of rushing water under your feet while you try to stay afloat on a slippery boogie board. That's the first place we all headed to, Royal Caribbean, anticipating the appeal, have erected spectator platforms around the famous FlowRider. "If you wait long enough, the pressure of the water rips off the women's bikini tops," a grinning reporter whispered to me. The Flowrider was so popular kids and adults of all ages and shapes waited happily for an hour for a turn. I resisted, remembering the reporter's warning. There is an H20 Zone, waterfun area for kids, with cantilevered whirlpools, watercannons and spouts. This ship is H-U-G-E. But that is aplus, not a minus in this case. For me the standout memory was the vastly superior onboard entertainment, outclassing the dozens of fake-Vegas shipboard shows I've watched over the years. You've got to see the Beatles show, RCL's American onboard PR people urged Miss Brit. I groaned inwardly, agreeing to go out of politeness, dreading fake American Beatles, with lamentable approximations of our most hallowed British music. [There are I have heard, 75 Beatle tribute bands in the USA]. The band RAIN, performing on Freedom must be the best. They look facially like JPG&R, with "John" having such a perfect aquiline Lennon nose I suspect a touch of surgical assistance. They stood astride like each individual Beatle, plucked guitar like George, "Ringo" shook his head side to side as he does, with all their mannerisms down pat, even the Scouse accents grittily perfect when they talked to the audience. RAIN's inspired and unexpected show is chronological, musically and visually, with costume changes from MopTop shiny Beatle suits, to Sergeant Pepper uniforms then white Abbey Road suits and beards, the music changing through the years to match the costumes. Their Beatles music sounds as strong and brilliant as the original. [Bit embarrassed to admit I don't know if they were lip-synching or not]. While they change costumes offstage, there is a film backdrop of 60 and 70s TV newsreel footage to remind us of the era. Prepared to be totally unimpressed and squirm with boredom, I was instead overwhelmed by RAIN's authenticity and quality, as though it really was The Fab Four. So was the audience, the nostaglic emotions running so high, there we were on the ocean, on our feet Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Hey-Juding for half an hour, till they had to bring the curtain down and chuck us out. Miss Decorum here never stands up at shows----so wow, RAIN, wow. If you get a chance to see them in your city, grab it. The VP of Sales at Royal Caribbean, whom I interviewed on board, told me they were targeting the UK market, starting cruises in 2007 from Southampton around the British isles and Europe, ending up with 6 six ships over there. [COMPLETE INFO: Royal Caribbean have set up a virtual video tour on its website, an inspired innovation, so you can experience the thrill of exploring every part of the ship, including the Flowrider surf park and boogie boarders. The 160,000 ton ship holds up to 4000 guests, debuted June 2006 and offers a 7 day Caribbean itinerary from Miami to Cozumel, Jamaica, Cayman and other Caribbean islands. www.royalcaribbean.com or 1-800-327-6700.
TAMPA British Commonwealth Club organises events for Brits in the Tampa area. New members most welcome. Contact Lizzie Burda [813] 254-5902
AT LAST! PALM BEACH BRITISH CLUB now forming. There is an extensive Britsh community in the Palm Beaches/Wellington area and am asked frequently whether there is a British club. In response to that demand, I founded and ran the British Society of Palm Beach in 2002, until my move down to Miami 18 months later ended it. Palm Beach Brits want a British club, but nobody wants to run it apparently. Now Patricia Gaines, a Palm Beach Gardens resident and British realtor, is starting one. She and I have had a lengthy phone discussion, she has found a meeting place, is energetic, capable and committed and feels the club has a great future. Interested? Call [561] 626-9017 or email This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it '; document.write( '' ); document.write( addy_text82035 ); document.write( '<\/a>' ); //-->\n This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
NEWS OF THE BOOZE: Ormond Beach now has a British Pub and restaurant, The Gryphon's Lark [386] 673-1250. The owner is American but he says he gets many British customers. Have fun checking it out, Ormond Beach Brits. Always find a complete list of Florida's British pubs on www.BritishFlorida.com
FLORIDA BRITS---WANT TO SAMPLE THE FAMOUS QUEEN MARY 2? , the world's most glamorous ocean liner? Cunard's QM2 is doing a one-time only 4 day "taster" cruise on January 6, 2007 from Ft. Lauderdale, roundtrip---so no expensive airfares. Over 50 Florida Brits have already booked and this is selling fast. No space here for full details, so drop me an email if you want to go.
ENGLISH LANGUAGE ABUSE here which irks my ears: One grammatical blunder so widespread few Americans seem to know the difference: Unsatisfied instead of dissatisfied. Example, from a Florida newspaper, quoting a hurricane shutter maker" "We do an average of 60 houses a month. Unfortunately, there's always one customer who remains unsatisfied." Of course he should have said dissatisfied. For customers who are left unsatisfied, Dr. Ruth can advise them.

FLORIDA COLUMN JUNE 2006 ISSUE
Thrilling news that The Apprentice winner, Sean Yazbeck is a Florida Brit, who lives in Miami. [Well unfortunately this goes to press before the June 5 final result but am convinced The Donald will choose The Brit. Hence my premature exuberance]. When the latest Apprentice started and I noticed such a talented, articualte, handsome British contestant, I wanted to prophesy in print that he would win. Since NBC had not revealed that Sean was from Florida, I didn't. In fact, the Miami Herald TV columnist Glenn Garvin queried "NBC's weird silence about the fact that a South Florida homeboy is one of the two finalists." The other finalist Lee is from Brooklyn. So Garvin said we should all root for Sean the Brit, "....our guy with the cute accent, because how humilating would it be for our Miami guy to be defeated by somebody from Brooklyn!? Like it's barely part of the United States."
Our Brilliant Brit Sean is 33, born and raised in London and works as a director of business development in the Miami offices of Glotel Inc, a UK recruitment consultancy company registered on the London Stock Exchange. Sean became the the top-ranking sales person globally at his firm after graduating from the Southampton Solent University with first class honors. In 2005, he earned a rare EB1 US work visa for persons of extraordinary ability" in 2005 , unlike most of you ordinary Brits on ordinary Green cards, tee hee. The luscious Londoner lives in South Beach, just across the bridge from this Londoner....sigh, but he's in love with Tammy from The Apprentice. Course if he wasn't, I'd be in with a chance--NOT. KISSIMMEE FIFTEEN AMATEUR BRITISH BOXERS from the UK will be appearing at Universal Resorts From July 11-15, 2006. The British bruisers, er boxers, are from Dagenham and will participate in a tournament against American boxers. And will thrash them, of course. The event will also be televised. INFO/TICKETS: Call Jennifer Bunting at Universal [407] 962-0403 or email This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it www.universalresortsinternational.com BRITISH PHOTOGRAPHER Robin Hill. MIAMI 's PERFORMING ARTS CENTRE [MPAC] will be the most significant new building in Florida in decades. Opening in October 2006, to a huge fanfare, it is zillions over budget and months overdue----as were many great additions to the world, like the Eiffel Tower. Anyway, the controversy only adds to the anticipation. I am a member, bought a posterity brick last year for my British Bureau and anticipate many British artists and shows starring there over the years. Wisely aiming to make the MPAC truly international, not let the city's huge Latin population dominate, MPAC has put togther an internation team. The artistic director Justin Macdougall is Australian, surprising to us Brits who know DownUnder is not a geyser of culture. Obviously our Aussie mate Justin must be a superb talent to land such a prestigious job. But I'm announcing with pride that MPAC has chosen a Miami Brit as its official Grand Opening photographer to capture the Centre's great occasions. Nottingham-born Robin Hill, will be responsible for creating dynamic, iconic photographs that will highlight the unique architecture created by Italian architect Cesar Pelli and the vast array of events that will make up the Center’s Grand Opening weekend. “Hill is an expert photographer and a superb talent. We are confident and excited that, as our Grand Opening photographer, he will create beautiful and thrilling imagery that will preserve this important milestone in Miami history,” said Gail Eaton, MPAC Chief Marketing Officer. “I'm delighted to have the opportunity to collaborate with MPAC and be part of this huge Miami moment,” said our British shutterbug. Hill's photography career spans 20 years and his work has played an important role in promoting Miami as a premier destination, selected for the Greater Miami Convention and Visitors Bureau’s tourism campaign and for the front cover of the 2002 Art Basel Souvenir program. His work has been in editorial spreads for National Geographic Traveler, American Way, People magazine and displayed in museums, like the Smithsonian, Cooper Hewitt National Design Museum in New York, the Municipal Art Society of New York and the Museum of Art Fort Lauderdale. In 2004, the brilliant Brit worked with Oscar-nominated director Atom Egoyan as a consultant on the feature film Where the Truth Lies and hosts the PBS Channel 2 program, “State of the Arts.” See his portfolio on www.robinhill.netINFO: MPAC says it will offer the finest popular and classical performances from around the world, with state-of-the-art performance facilities in Miami for the first time, the best and most diverse theater, music, and dance—with a dedication to entertain, challenge, and educate all segments of the community. See website www.miamipac.org
ORLANDO News of the Booze: New British Pub called The Best of British [407] 264-9189. British co-owner Paul Skingly. Pub has British pubgrub and shows the Premier League footie. Find a complete list of all Florida's British pubs on www.BritishFlorida.com
WANT TO WATCH WORLD CUP? Call the pubs nearest you from the online list and ask if they are showing it. Of course, the smartest pubowners have taken World Cup ads in this paper to reach Florida Brits.
FLORIDA BRITS---WANT TO SAMPLE THE FAMOUS QUEEN MARY 2, the world's most glamorous ocean liner? Cunard's QM2 is doing a one-time only 4 day "taster" cruise from Ft. Lauderdale, roundtrip---so no expensive airfares. Many Florida Brits have already booked and this is selling fast, even though sailing is not till January 6, 2007. No space here for full details, so drop me an email if you want to go.
ORLANDO-GLASGOW flights have just started from Sanford Airport, by a UK discount airline FlyGlobESpan. For details go to their website www.flyglobespan.com
SARASOTA BRITISH CLUB will join Brits around the world in celebrating the Queen's 80th birthday. A British evening, with cocktails and dinner, toasts to the Royal Family, a quiz (with some grand prizes), entertainment, and a pub sing-a-long. will be held at the Coach and Horses Pub, 6240 N. Lockwood Ridge Road. Pay as you go, order dinner from special pub menu. No cover. Saturday June 17, 2006 from 6.30p.m. Call [941] 321-9631 to reserve seats.
FT. LAUDERDALE THE ROYAL BRILLIANT BRITS DINNER , hosted by FABB [The Florida Association of British Business, to honour one of the most brilliant Brits ever: Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. The unique entertainment at this dinner will be Open Microphone for guests to tell their true THE DAY I MET THE QUEEN STORIES. On Saturday June 21, from 6.30p.m. to 11p.m. Your ticket includes a delicious 4 course prime rib dinner with wine and super British-theme Door prizes and surprises. Remember the FABB motto: A Roomful of Brits is Never Dull. COST: $49 per person. Advance booking required. Location details on website www.BritishFlorida.com on British Events page. Call FABB office [305] 371-9340 with VISA/MC or email This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
ENGLISH LANGUAGE ABUSE here which irks my ears: Ugly abbreviations just for the sake of speed or trendiness, what I call Fastfood English. Examples abound, but the worst: Happy B-Day. "Let's hear it for Queen Latifah, celebrating her Beeday today," I heard on New York radio. Now why would the singer celebrate where she scrubs her genitalia, I puzzled. An American explained. Aha! Obviously most Americans never learned French. Dieu Merci that BBC Radio won't be stooping to "Her Majesty celebrates her Beeday today, "
FLORIDA BRITS FLYING HOME for summer hols and some REAL BACON butties, may find the just-published tips from jetlag experts in the UK useful. The Edinburgh Sleep Centre studied 1000 British Airways passengers for its conclusions and advises: Long-distance air travellers should wear sunglasses during the latter stages of the flight to beat jetlag. British experts at the centre urged all airlines to alter the light on planes to help passengers to adjust body clocks when jumping time zones. For example, the plane should be flooded with blue light, halfway during a Miami to London flight. Traditional methods of fighting jetlag were ineffective, their report stressed, because the human body and brain is not designed to work around the clock. To help you cope with jetlag, these findings and tips are on BA's website: www.ba.com/jetlag.

FLORIDA COLUMN MAY 2006 ISSUE
THE ROYAL BRILLIANT BRITS DINNER in FT. Lauderdale. Our beloved Queen celebrated her actual 80th. birthday on April 21, as you all saw on your telly. But the Monarch's official birthday is always celebrated in June, for planning and weather pruposes. As an ardent Royalist like many of you, I knew we South Florida expats could not let such a milestone occasion go unmarked. As the third in the successful Brilliant Brits dinners, hosted by FABB [The Florida Association of Britsh Buisness, there will be a "Royal" Brilliant Brits Dinner, to honour one of the most brilliant Brits ever: Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. The unique entertainment at this dinner will be Open Microphone for guests to tell their true THE DAY I MET THE QUEEN STORIES. [I was presented to Her Majesty in 1985 in Nassau. She often tells her friends about it.] EVENT DETAILS: Dinner will in Ft. Lauderdale on Saturday June 21, from 6.30p.m. to 11p.m. Your ticket includes a delicious 4 course prime rib dinner with wine and super British-theme Door prizes and surprises. Remember the FABB motto: A Roomful of Brits is Never Dull. COST: $48 per person. Presented by FABB, the Florida Association of British Business. Location and details on website www.BritishFlorida.com on British Events page. To book call FABB office [305] 371-9340 with VISA/MC.
An English rose amongst the orchids----Mary Motes, the British owner of Motes Orchids in the agricultural area of Homestead, South Miami. With her Miami-born husband Dr.Martin Motes, they grow world-class orchids in five acres, acclaimed as Florida's widest variety and selection of the exotic blooms. While teaching at the British Council in Kosovo, she met her husband there and "found myself in a dilapdidated old house on 5 acres, complete with its own snakes, rats, scorpions and leaking roof, proof that you never know where a Brit will end up, " she told me. I stumbled on Mary and her floral world in March while on a day trip to Homestead with Miami's Urban Environment League. We toured various agricultural businesses and were joined at Motes by Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez, who introduced Mary as the owner. When I heard her accent, I told the Mayor how proud I was that Motes Orchids was a successful British-owned business.
Many years after settling here, with more awarded orchids named after her than anyone else, Mary has done what any self-respecting Brit with an English degree would do: turned her experiences into a novel. Orchid Territory is described as an English eye on the wacky subtropical orchid world of South Florida, full of humour and wicked comedy. [Quote from one of its characters: Most Yanks think even standard Brits are pretty feeble and neurotic anyway. I found the word knickers on page 28 so you know the author is not American!]
Motes is open every day and holds free orchid classes. "We breed vandas so visitors see one of the foremost collections in the world , " she says. Her Vanda Mary Motes won Best in Show at the 2005 World Orchid Conference in France. " They have all have been grown here and are like nothing found elsewhere, but we always have reasonably priced orchids for sale because I'm a frugal Brit," Mary says. Plus if you’ve made any kind of journey to find us, I guarantee you a good strong cup of English tea." Motes is thirty minutes drive south of Miami airport and is definitely worth a drive down. Motes Orchids, Redland [305] 247-4398 www. motesorchids.com Mary's book is available at the nursery or from her website.
Simon Cowell, riveting British judge on American Idol---- I've been an Idoloholic for all 5 seasons and never miss a Tuesday night---is also an acknowledged genius in the record biz, as Barry Manilow told CNN last week. In 2004, Simon created IL DIVO, made up of four talented, handsome opera singers, spending 2 years in a worldwide search to find these accomplished young men from different countries. IL DIVO performs for the first time in Florida June 14/15 at Boca Raton's Mizner Amphitheatre. Tickets from Ticketmaster. Info on the Florida promoter's website www.fantasma.com
BRITISH MUSICAL SHOUT makes its USA debut at Palm Beach's Kravis Center. It runs from June 13 till July 2, 2006. Tickets: Kravis Box office 1-800-572-8471 www.kravis.org
FT. MYERS in Lee County. In the So Daft it Has to Be True department. School officials said they were so concerned about terrorism they would stop their high school band from marching in a London parade. School Superintendent James Browder declared London unsafe for Fort Myers High School band to march in London's 2007 New Year's Day parade. So angry British tourism officials are telling travellers that Fort Myers is no safe haven, either. [Yessss!!!] Reacting to the school's ludicrous decision, London parade officials released a statement to The News-Press warning British travelers about Fort Myers' crime and homicide rates, Lee County's record number of traffic deaths in 2005 and that the risk of "catastrophic hurricanes.'' The trouble is, Ft Mayers tourism officials are angry at Bowder's statement, stressing it is NOT the official view of the Tourism and Visitors Bureau. D.T. Minich, TVB executive director said the disagreement could have a serious impact because 40 percent of the area's European visitors were from Britain. "That school's opinions certainly don't reflect the tourism industry's opinions. It's embarrassing,'' Minich said. Quite. Because Florida needs Brits more than London needs one American school band.
BRITISH FOOTBALL FANS in South Florida--great News! Miami now has a professional football [soccer--hate that have to use it in America word] team. This is the first professional football team since the Ft. Lauderdale based Miami Fusion, with popular British coach Ray Hudson, folded a few years ago. Called Miami FC, the team had its first game last month against a team from Jamiaca and includes Bazilian football star Romario, who is the second -leading scorer in soccerhstory. Romario moved to Miami to play for their team---"it feels like home," he said. The team, a franchise playing in the First Divison of United Soccer League, was bought by Miami-based Traffic USA. Traffic Group [305] 377-2700 is one of largest sportsmarketing companies in the world, so Miami FC has a great chance of succeeding. Miami and South Florida being so full of resident Soccer-loving Latins and Brits this team should attract enough fans, if marketed and promoted right. The Miami Fusion wasn't. For a start, they should market directly to the thousands of British football fans living here, who used to attend Fusion games. Miami FC plays at their stadium in Tropical Park, southwest Miami. Find match schedule and info on www.miamifc.com
ENGLISH LANGUAGE ABUSE here which irks my ears: Saying a celebrity takes a dress size 00 [zero zero], frequently heard here on inane celebrity TV shows. Desperate Houseives star Eva Longoria is a size 00, her publicist was boasting to reporters last week. Well in the world's fattest nation, obsessed by the thin celebrities they fail to emulate, "size 00" is just an illogical vanity term. The word "size" means a measurement. The word Zero means no quantity of anything. Therefore to say a woman is a size 00 is to say she does not exist. Pretentious American gibberish.

FLORIDA COLUMN APRIL 2006 ISSUE
Prime Minister Tony Blair's wife Cherie was in Palm Beach and Boca Raton during her controversial private speaking tour last month. For those of you who don't follow the UK news, the Blairs are in millions of pounds of debt due to several unwise property purchases. So Cherie Blair needs to earn fees from lucrative speaking engagements in the USA, something no sitting Prime Minister's wife has ever done. " Said Tory MP David Davies, " Even by Mrs. Blair's own extraordinary standards, this is an outrage. The British public will be aghast to learn that the Prime Minsiter's wife has been hawking herself around the USA using accounts of meetings of the Queen as away of helping her meet her mortgage payments." Well, controversy aside, what interests me is that while in Boca Raton, she asked to do something "unique in south Florida", so on March 14 was taken to the Dania Jai-Alai just outside Ft. Lauderdale. With her 20 year old son Nicky Blair, they placed a few bets but didn't win, Jai-Alai officials said. Now directly across the street is a famous, unmissable, freestanding British pub, with Union Jacks flying, Red London phone box, huge swinging pub sign. You cannot enter the Jai-Alai without seeing it. Surely Mrs.Blair and son popped in? The British pubowner didn't return my 3 calls over there to find out. Hmmmmmm.
WORLD CUP 2006--Many Florida Brits are hoping to go to Germany, so sharing this useful piece form the Miami Herald with you: "Many hotel Rooms in Germany in the 12 World Cup Cities are already sold out, others are charging up to $1650 a night. But some are still available through FIFA's official World Cup Accommodation Services, which you'll find on their website: www.fifaworldcup.yahoo.com. Other recommended German hotel websites: www.hotel.de, www.booking.com and www.footballtourist.com --Miami Herald 3-26-06 [The UK Government working with FIFA has said any British fans doing Nazi salutes, goosestepping and teasing the Krauts in any way will be arrested. True. German and British officials will be monitoring English soccer hooligans carefully--snd so they should.--PK].
PHOTO: Under that helmet is pretty British blonde Alana warden, owner of the British Barn in Davie. [Tel. [954] 252-5574 www.thebritishbarn.com ]
A horse lover from age 5, Alana indulged her dream, after many years as a Floria cruiseline executive by opening the full-service stable in the Southwest ranches area just west of Ft Lauderdale. With four paddocks over more than 2 acres of roaming area, you'll find riding, dressage and jumping lessons for all ages and abilities, full boarding for horses and dogs, grooming and saddling classes, children's summer and week-end camps and everything horsey. "I lived next to stable in England when I was a child and from then I just lived and died horses," she said. Since she bought the property, many local Brits have become regulars there. We're such an equestrian nation of course. It's ideal for your chidren. "We teach them horse etiquette, how to handle and lead ahorse correctly, be aware of the physical size of the horse and all the etiquette around the horse is based on safety, " Said Alana. So UJ readers, gallop out to the British Barn and check it out.
THE BRITISH CONSULATES in Florida [Miami and Orlando, are planning to establish a system of tracking where Brits are, in order to better assist them in times of hurricanes and other crises. Well, unlike New Orleans Florida has had a well-oiled, thoroughly tested [over and over since Andrew in 1992] hurricane preparedness plan, and our building code is a model for other states. But the British government were stung by comments from British tourists displaced in Katrina last year, who complained to the UK media that the British government didn't send any help. I think those comments were unfair--how could British officials know where displaced British visitors and residents in chaotic, flooded-out New Orleans were located? The British government can't wave a magic wand and beam you up to safety--even if they could know which Brits were staying in which hotels. Which part of the words Natural Disaster don't people understand?
Anyway, the two British Consulates in Florida have asked me to publish this, before Hurricane Season 2006: British Consulate Seeks Volunteers throughout Florida: Imagine finding yourself stuck in the middle of a natural disaster in a foreign country. That's the situation thousands of British nationals faced last year during the devastating 2005 hurricane season. In an effort to increase the flow of information during such emergencies, the British Consulates in Miami and Orlando are setting up a network of local volunteers to help locate and assist British nationals in distress. The volunteers will also supplement the Consulate's outreach to local authorities, tour operators, airlines, and community groups in throughout Florida. The volunteers' work will complement that of first responders and authorities, who must focus on assisting those most in need, regardless of their nationality. Assisted by volunteers, the Consulate can concentrate on helping British nationals stay safe and contact family members in the UK. The Consulate can also issue emergency passports to those who have lost their travel documents. Every year, more than three million Britons visit Florida. This new network is a way of improving the Consulate's outreach, and making British nationals aware of what Foreign Office staffers can and can't do to assist them if they are in difficulty. The British Consulate also plans to introduce a voluntary on-line registration system for British nationals in Florida later this year. This will provide a more formal method for keeping track of Britons in the area. For more information call the British Consulate in Miami: [305] 374-1522 or Orlando [ 407] 426-7855. Or email their new Press officer Annette Hugues based in the Miami office This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it ---March 2006 British Consulate Miami
CRICKET FANS! The British Marketplace [954] 584-8888 in Davie [southwest Ft. Lauderdale] is hosting a free book-signing by expert British author P.David Sentance. His cricket career spans 40 years and 5 continents. Join other cricket fans to meet him with his new book, Cricket in America 1710-2000, on Saturday April 29, from 3-6p.m. The event will be in the adjoining Let's Have Tea English tearoom and British owner David Williams looks forward to meeting many UJ readers at the book-signing. [Did you see those super photos of President Bush playing cricket and learning what a googly was, over in Pakistan last month?]
COCOA BEACH British granny Iris Davis was all over the Florida news March 17 for stopping some thugs in mid-robbery. The 62 year old, only 5ft 1" inch of English muscle, is an avid body-builder and shrugged it off to TV reporters as no big deal.
ROYAL BRITISH LEGION Annual St. Georges Day Picnic takes place on Sunday April 23 in Ft. Lauderdale's Plantation Park. Join other British legion members and guests for a fun day out starting at 12 noon. Cost: $10. Must pre-book by calling Neil Hennessy [954] 561-4117 ENGLISH LANGUAGE ABUSE here which irks my ears: Saying "good" the adjective when it should be "well" the adverb. It's such a commonly perpetuated error that many Americans are unaware it's incorrect. There's a Kohl's TV commercial on constantly in Florida where the young actress is bouncing across the TV screen endlessly repeating: :Whatever you do, do it good. " Since American children are bombarded with incorrect grammar by the media that's what they assimilate and repeat of course. In the past, whenever people here would say "I'm doing good, " I'd smile and say," No, Mother Theresa is doing good. You are doing well."
FT. LAUDERDALE: THE ANNUAL SCOTTISH FESTIVAL of South Florida, always attended by thousands of Scots and wannabe Scots. Scottish games, foods, Scottish clans, bagpipers and a cornucopia of kilts. Saturday April 22, 2006 from 9a.m. to 5p.m. at The Ft Lauderdale Stadium. Tickets $10-$15. Full details and directions on the Scottish-American Society's website: www.SASSF.org.
The only people who walk in Los Angeles are hookers and the British----Shopkeeper in Los Angeles told UK's Daily Mail. Not true in tropical Florida--it's usually too hot even for mad Brits to walk.
SIR RICHARD BRANSON seen in bed in Miami on March 20. That got your attention. It's B.E.D actually, an exceedingl expensive and gimmicky restaurant in Miami. The famous British mogul is certainly making the most of Miami's amazing nightlife since he bought his place here. Now I've made a point of experiencing everywhere in Miami alone or with friends but never been able to try B.E.D. [much as I want to]. The reason is: you are served your gourmet dinner horizontally stretched out on large, low white beds in the restaurant's dimly-lit, exotic atmosphere. So it's unsuitable for a business dinner. It's unsuitable to take my 80 year-old Mum. It's waaaaay too romantic and expensive for a casual date. If a suitor paid for my dinner at B.E.D. he'd also expect b-e-d. So B.E.D. is only suitable for an affluent couple or a group. And Branson, as with everything else seemingly, enjoyed the restaurant the right way. He booked a Monday-night bed for his entourage of 30 people for a late-night dinner. The following night the fun-loving millionaire was at Mansion, an exclusive Miami nightclub, horsing around by writing KISS ME, SPANK ME, PAMELA ANDERSON and other funnies on Hello My Name is.....badges and putting them on the cocktail waitresses.
PALM BEACH----Nana Mouskouri, a longtime favourite with Brits, on her farewell world tour, will give a Florida concert on April 21. She is the most successful female singer ever, with 350 gold and platinum albums. Call Kravis Center for tickets and info: 1-800-572-8471 www.kravis.org
THE "ROYAL" BRILLIANT BRITS DINNER, to celebrate our beloved Queen's 80th birthday takes place on Saturday June 17, 2006 in Ft. Lauderdale. Join 150 Brits for this celebratory occasion, presented by the Florida Association of British Business [FABB]. The unique live entertainment will be Open Mike for guests to tell their true THE DAY I MET THE QUEEN stories. [I was presented to Her Majesty in 1985 in Nassau, Bahamas. She's still telling her friends about it]. Full dinner details on www.britishflorida.com Click on British events page.
ATTENTION FLORIDA'S BRITISH-OWNED BUSINESSES and PUBS: If you wish to get bulk Copies of the Union Jack, [50 papers a month minimum], to offer your customers, please phone our circulation department 1-800-262-7305 after 1p.m. The paper is free, but a small delivery charge applies.

MARCH 2006 COLUMN by Patricia Kawaja